I wish I never heard the truth

Is it true that the truth comes to us whenever we want it? Can I go outside and trust that the truth is around every corner? How will the truth trust my truth that I am telling? I cannot figure out the confines of what seems to be the inner workings of things past where honesty inlies and where lying takes presidence. I am one to complicate what is real and keep in the dark what is to be in actuality the fakeness of reality. If only I knew what everyone else knew, I would have the upper hand (or an even hand, depending on how one looks at it). Quick to judge, moderate to relieve.